Elder Bednar's talk Things as They Really Are is hitting
home lately with my media usage. I have to admit I am trying hard at this
assignment but I am failing pretty bad at my goal of limiting myself to 15
minutes a day. I can sit here and make excuses like my sister just had twins,
one of the twins is not doing well and has a life threatening infection so I
need to update my status or text more family members, or I need to use my phone
to look up something because it's easier than my computer. I can go on, but
really its up to me to give a mental check with myself in how I am viewed from
others like my children. I have to admit yesterday evening I was "too
busy" in researching this infection that my nephew has on my phone that I
failed to hear my 4 year old son calling me for a minute or two. I instantly
felt horrible and put my phone away to play Legos with him. I apologized to my
son for the lack of attention and realized I could quickly lose my child's
trust if I don't put away my phone. It was easy to put away my phone while I
was on a date, finally, with my husband on Friday. It felt amazing to leave my
phone in the car while I was at the restaurant with my husband. We had to laugh
at all the people around us using their phones while eating at the restaurant.
It was an eye opener to us to realize how disconnected people are in a place
where they should feel connected with others. It reminded me of the Washington
Post article I posted earlier about using judgement in when to use your phone,
if you are in a place where you are to connect with others then put your phone
away. It's all a learning curve but it takes self-reflection to realize where
you are in your habits and how you can change them for the better.
I appreciate the
opportunities for us to grow and expand our testimonies of Jesus Christ. I am
especially grateful for this lesson. I have learned so much in the time we have
been asked to keep track of our social media time, listening to our family
members, and to strengthen our marriage. Under the additional resources I found
a great talk from Elder Hales, With all the Feelings of a Tender Parent, he
tells us that we need to have family counsel. He counsels us that we never need
to be afraid to talk to our children. We are the ones who are responsible to
teach our children. We are responsible to show our children that we care for
them by listening to them, only giving counsel or discipline when needed. If we
are not careful we can close the door to future interactions with our children.
We need to remember to keep our hearts open to whatever our children may ask.
In the parable of the prodigal son we learn that when the son realized the
mistakes he made and realized who he wanted to be he returned to his family. He
knew the door was open because of how his father treated him.
As I think of this, I
want to remember the actions I take while using my phone or using the internet
in front of my children. I don't want them to think I care more about
"others" or the "phone" more than them. We need to all
remember this as they get older and will have their own devices. I think as a
husband and wife counsel together they will understand each other better and
understand how they can help their children too. When life is slowed a little
by taking away the phones or computers a family can find ways to interact and
strengthen their relationships. Children need to see their parents together in
a loving tender manner. This will help them in discussion making for their
future spouses.
Realizing that we
need to do self-checks every once in a while to put things back into
perspective is key. Reminding yourself that the way you speak to your spouse
and children is a self-reflection of how you feel. Needing to remember to go to
the Lord in prayer and repentance is key too. Keeping your marriage fresh and
new by courting each other like you did before you were married. And as
President Hunter said, "Tenderness and respect—never selfishness—must be
the guiding principles in the intimate relationship between husband and
wife." The family is important in the eyes of the Lord and remembering
these lessons will help shape your family and your children for eternity.
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